Secret Keepers

I cannot keep a secret. Ever since I first discovered the concept of gifting, my extreme excitement has caused me to let approximately 93.8% of cats out of the bag. For me, the most fun part about giving a gift is the excitement, which I discovered with most people, can be exacerbated by dropping hints. My issue is that the hints are usually more like spoilers. For example:

H: You wear it, it's made of cotton, and it has your favorite animal on it.

T: You got me a sloth T-shirt??? 

H: YES!! I mean uh...no...

H: It will make your skin awesome and you will smell like flowers.

M: Bath and body works lotions??

H: YAY!! What? I mean...no...

H: It has paper, a story, and an author.

D: A book!!

H: WHAT IS THIS? HOW ARE YOU ALL SO GOOD AT GUESSING?

As you probably picked up, I have a problem.

This last weekend was Josh and I's wedding shower. It was awesome. Most of my family and most of the adults in Josh's family along with a large sampling of our college friends and the wedding party came up to Houston to play games, open presents, and visit. It was lovely, except for one thing, every time I would walk up on a group of my female friends, conversation would cease and all of them would avert their eyes and bite their lips. This went on for the beginning of the party until I was able to single out the weakest member of the heard, my college roommate, R.

"So hey, R, what's going on?"

*shifty eyes* "What do you mean?"

"Do you have a secret?"

*sweating* "Ss-secret?"

"Yeah, maybe about me?"

*hyperventilating* "IF YOU DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE I WILL GIVE AWAY ALL THE SECRETS OF YOUR LINGERIE SHOWER AND ALL THE OTHER BRIDESMAIDS WILL MURDER ME IN COLD BLOOD.

I may have a problem keeping a secret, but apparently I'm not the only one. As I looked around at the guilty faces of my guests, I was overwhelmed by two conflicting ideas, Sherlock the snot out of these weak fools, or let them keep their secret and patiently await the party. I decided on a compromise. I would ask her one simple question and if she divulged anything I wouldn't stop her, but if she held strong, I wouldn't press her.

"Will it be awesome?"

"Oh yeah."

"Perfect."

Here's to you ladies, for keeping 6.2% of the cats in the bag, for this week.